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October 30, 2012
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A crack in the eye,
did to me never lie,
maybe I did not see,
that it belonged to me.

A tri-collab, with the genius of *NotenSMSK and the unsettling atmosphere set by ~Cyrisis in what I consider... an experiment.

~Cyrisis is responsible for the cover of this work.

Its simply called Eye ([link])

He owns the copyright to it. And what a work it truly is.

Something which, after compiling this set of quartets with *NotenSMSK was actually an interesting experience.

What it means: This author, however, has a view that the "crack" in the eye... represents the dent on the soul of the person... And with its puncture (hence its "not lying") pushed itself deep... unwittingly, bringing with it the realization that "it belonged to me" (i.e. it was the fault of its protagonist).

In a psychoanalytical perspective, its a Jungian example of "anima-animus" in, interesting retrospectively, a form of singular juxtaposition. Its an oxymoron, bordering towards antagonizing misappropriation.

Questions to the audience (for the critique):

1. Is this quartet... making any sense to you as the reader?

2. What is your perspective on this quartet?

3. Have there been any occasions in your life when you could relate with this quartet?

4. General Comments
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:iconnotensmsk:
Now sinc this is my colab with you I don't know what to say. I have always found this particular quartet very deep along with another one of my quartet. It holds a lot of meaning for me and so I shall comment on it like wise.

The crack inthe eye is like the Broken glasses... a dent, as you explained it which converges or diverges the eye sight and shows what is not the truth. The trick lies in the center two lines.

"Did to me never lie.
Maybe I did not see..."


First thing... there should be a fullstop after the first mentioned line. Then... the lines have a meaning as follows... Crack in the eye can be considered from the writers perspective as "sow white's mirror" as in a portal for the messenger, not the messenger itself.

He first thinks that the portal is the reason why lies reach him... why he is unable to see the truth. But then he realizes in this work that it was because he was the mind behind the portal... the one who was giving out lies.

This is my interpretation. For a reader it might be hard to get but this quartet... is yet one of the deepest I have written... with anyone ;)

I won'tbe able to rate this according to a normal reader sadly since I know all the twists and quriks.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconmothlets:
mothlets Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012   General Artist
*yes, it did but how i personally interpreted -- the wording could be more clear-cut and have a better flow.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
We'll keep that in mind when writing a quartet next time.

Just in case, do you have any suggestions? It could help us whenever writing something like this.
Reply
:iconmothlets:
mothlets Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   General Artist
yes --
assume the reader has bad reading comprehension. seriously. and by this i mean make your intention clear and the word order more direct. this is something i forget to do in almost all of my writing, but it's important.

hope this helps. :)
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) Definitely did.

I'll keep that in mind when writing. Thank you!

How're things at your end? Read anything interesting lately?
Reply
:iconmothlets:
mothlets Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
I don't read as often as I used to, unfortunately, but I'm reading a book called The Crooked God Machine. It's a dystopian horror. It's fantastic.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
lovely :)

I'm reading "Within a Budding Groove" by Proust. Its amazing... Beyond words...
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:iconmothlets:
mothlets Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012   General Artist
1. Is this quartet... making any sense to you as the reader?
yes, it did, but i think the wording could be more clear-cut and have a better flow.

2. What is your perspective on this quartet?

in my interpretation, the piece is strong. i read it as the narrator saw harm where there wasn't and hurt themselves in doing so.

3. Have there been any occasions in your life when you could relate with this quartet?

yes, in a way. i usually have the opposite problem.

4. General Comments

good concept.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) Thank you for putting in the time for this critique.

I'm glad you like it. I also find your interpretation interesting. :)

Hope to hear from you soon :)
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