I honestly want to thank you for directing me to this story again. I planned to read it a while ago, but it disappeared into the background...
This piece grabbed me and it wouldn't let me go until I had read all of it (which, admittedly, was a lot). I read it 5 times and I'm sure there is still more that I haven't caught yet, but if I dwelled on that this critique would never be written.

The first line is striking. Perhaps it's the fact that it says my world and not 'the' world that caught my attention.
I felt as if this story took me on a journey to see and hear things I never would've imagined on my own. Sometimes the words kept on flying by like a train, so it made it hard for me to follow, although I'll partly blame that on my own lacking vocabulary. I was relieved to see that this piece contained less of the more difficult words, if I can call them that, that you use in your works.

There were a few sentences that could do with some punctuation, for example: And don’t lie you’re feeling the same way as I am (I'd suggest a semicolon).
Also, there are some sentences that I feel would do better if you split them into two, such as No point looking like a faggot in front of her that’d only make things worse. These are just suggestions, though.

The relationship between 'you' and the girl is beautiful in all its descriptions. Especially the dialogue. It actually hurt me to read about her passing, and the fact that she never finished her sentence.

I have to be honest and tell you that I had never seen that ending coming. It truly surprised me at the time of me first reading it, but looking back, it makes perfect sense. Would he happen to be getting on the boat to cross the Styx? It left me wondering who grabbed 'your' hand at the end. My interpretation would be that the protagonist committed suicide to be reunited with the girl, although I suppose you're not going to tell me whether that is true or not.

The fact that the cemetery is described as nice rather than depressing was refreshing to read about, because you usually read about them being dark, haunted or forsaken and whatnot. With your description I felt a sence of peacefulness. The fact that this consist of two stories woven into one made it more difficult to follow, but also added more depth to the story. Actually, I was blown away by all your descriptions. They're perfectly worded yet they remain very raw in what they're actually describing.

I felt as if there's a lof of pent-up anger flowing from the main character. Anger and disdain for others, maybe for 'society' and despair at the way things go. There was a sense of hopelessness coming from the MC, but in situations like those, I can imagine that's what most people will change into.

What puzzled me a bit is the part where there appears to be a fight between them. I thought the first lines were her speaking, but later, it's said that she said her first words. I think Then there was the first thing spoken, from her... could be changed into something that would suggest she was the first to speak after the silence, rather than remaining silent up to now.

Sometimes the change in tense threw me off a bit, such as 'I view her hand with scorn.' It would imply that he's viewing it right now. That seemed a bit off to me. But overall it wasn't bothersome and I wouldn't put effort into changing them as the story works just fine as is. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

This piece quite honestly made me feel as if I understand nothing about the world, but I do understand this - these are words that will be understood by those who have gone through a similar thing and wondered about their meaning by those who haven't. I know for certain that this piece will haunt my memory for at least a bit longer.

I have nothing else to say about this. Thank you for writing this. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="20" height="20" alt="" title="Clap"/>