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1. Did you enjoy the work?

I enjoyed the work - it was different from the usual deviation submissions. Its gives me, as a reader, too many things to relate with - that's common, no doubt, but not too obvious or to abrupt.

2. Did the flow seem natural or did the expressions feel painfully forced together?

The flow was natural. It went to Persian perfection.

3. Did the analogies, limit of love work well or did it feel like random, unproductive ramble?

It was an Arabian feel - I felt I was reading the 1001 Arabian Nights, or some Persian myth from mythological Persia. That is a good thing.

4. Did the ending go well?

The ending... went well - it was aesthetically pleasing, and certainly more attuned towards Persian poetry than Arabic. It wasn't subtle - it was pristine. Well done with the ending.

General Comments: I like this work - its original, but not as original enough to be, say, like "reflection in the mirror".

I don't find any need of improvement, per say; I like it as is.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.


NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for resending the critique. I am glad that the ratting of originality did improve. The rest of the feedback also helps me a lot! Also that you mentioned the origins that you felt it had gave me insight.
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome :) Had to - the previous one was a rant. And that's the fact.
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